If you're here for me to..explain why I've been offline a lot just hold on a bit longer. I have some things to say. I've had to go to my mother's funeral recently..do you know what that feels like? Being surrounded I'm a room with people you most likely don't know. That's where social anxiety comes into question I started having issues with breathing and I could hardly sit down without crying. It felt like everyone was watching what I did whenever I did it and I just wanted to leave. It's like being in an ocean, drowning, dying slowly and still begging to live. You get the picture

I know this won't get attention and I'm okay with that. I just need a safe space to talk about all of my problems.

Recently I've been struggling with a lot of self esteem issues. Feeling like I wasn't good enough. Everyone here tells me it's ok to cry but a voice in the back of my head tells me not to cry. I've had that voice in the back of my head for..quite a while now. Ever since 4th grade really