🧍
by:
Ey3-s0ckEts 
271
271
25.08.2023
5 comments
Ey3-s0ckEts[OP]
25.08.2023 01:22
LinkThe urge to jsut disappear gets stronger everyday
Like
I don’t want to die I’m not suicidal I just don’t want to be here
My day was ok not really anything happened, today talking was really hard though it was like I had so much shit going on in my head when I did talk it was really hard to process what I was actually saying
Yesterday my friend Archie was being playful and stuff and like poking and taunting me on and stuff and usually I’m ok with that and don’t really care but then he started like actually touching me and it made me terribly anxious and he wouldn’t stop so I did it back and now he has a bruise and today was imaking it
Very
Very clear how upset he is about it and I jsut want to shut down
He doesn’t listen when I say I didn r mean to and that I was getting overwhelmed and like
Idk
Ey3-s0ckEts[OP]
25.08.2023 01:26
LinkI’m gonna try to get my stepdad to give me one of his old Xbox’s and a controller cuz I have a tv and he has the modern warfare games
Also I started working again at my moms bar which is a plus
I’m doing sound for our drag show tmrw which always pays super well in tips and the normal job and I’m also working every Sunday now for brunch in the kitchen and waitressing and stuff
Today I tried to talk to Robert between passing periods and it was so bad
I haven’t rlly been able to speak to him well outside of text it really sucks idk why ik what I want to say and what I should but I just CANT and it’s so frustrating cause it makes relationships even just friendships so hard
Ey3-s0ckEts[OP]
25.08.2023 01:29
LinkAlso in my English class I had made a friend his name is josh he’s really nice kinda awkward though but easy to talk to then my teacher gave us assigned seats and the guy in paired with makes me severely uncomfortable idk what it is he just gives off a vibe
Same thing with chemistry, I was doing fine sitting by myself but my teacher requires us to have a partner and so I had to sit with a senior Gavin who used to bully me when I was in elementary and he was in middle school since the church is prek-8th, I think he was mean cause he and my brother didn’t get along back then but he like deadnamed me immediately and now I already have people asking me about my deadname and we haven’t even finished the first week of school
Ey3-s0ckEts[OP]
25.08.2023 01:30
LinkJamie’s ordering me Jordan’s 👍
Ey3-s0ckEts[OP]
25.08.2023 01:31
LinkOh German is good though that’s my first period
My teacher is a sweetheart and his voice is really pleasant to listen to
I made good friends w a junior in that class but we were moved from eachother cause of the seating chart, the guy I’m paired with is ok though, I have to help him a lot though which is a little irritating but we have an exchange student and his accent is lovely