just in case you are wondering i feel like i keep saying the n-word again and again even though i do not want not to do it and my deep parts of my brain say i am not and i keep laughing for no reason

also i feel extremely stressed about a million different f*cking things and they usually come from here or personal issues

i am not joking

my brain keeps making rituals every time it thinks i said it

now your just being rude to be honest

it is okay

very personal reasons