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Never mind.
9 comments
Emberleaf[OP]
09.02.2026 00:09
LinkHe said he didn't want to anymore... now I've just been anxious for no reason, and still can't calm down :( Ugh.
Emberleaf[OP]
09.02.2026 00:09
Link~
Emberleaf[OP]
09.02.2026 00:09
Link~
oh hell nah
youre never responsible for the feelings of others, even if its your partner. this guy sounds absolutely terrible, and if hes getting mad at you for things you cant control or dont involve you, then youre not a partner, youre a punching bag. i think you should establish boundaries, like not wanting to go over to your bfs house and be stuck there is an amazing one and its so valid, i wouldnt want to be stuck with someone whos temper is always prime to burst either. you should defo just take some time to yourself and write out everything hes been doing/ saying to make you uncomfortable and confront him (tho im ngl i would block my bf if he started being even remotely disrespectful, but thats just me) and if he reacts poorly or gets mad at you for standing your ground, then you should leave him :(
this is just advice you dont have to take it but yeah- dont let that guy control you or make you feel bad for making good choices.
It's hard. I do try and establish boundaries, but lately it feels like none of it is taken seriously. Two days in a row, the only thing I was saying was that I wasn't comfortable comforting him when he's lashing out at me, and that I have no problem being there for him emotionally when he isn't. Because... for the last two years, he's taken his distress out on me almost every single time he's been upset, and I can't handle it anymore. I literally dissociate when he's upset; I freeze up and can't talk. I told him that, for me to comfort him, he needs to work on not lashing out anymore, because I literally CAN'T bring myself to be there otherwise. And no matter how many times I asked, over and over, he was angry and indignant over text about it, and mischaracterizing it as having to prove himself just to be cared about, or my comfort being more important than him. Even after expressing over and over and over that I do care, I'm just overwhelmed and don't want to be mistreated anymore...
I know I need to just leave at this point, and I got so close to finally leaving the other day, but it hurts to even think about. It's hard when he's been such a big part of my life for so long, and really the only support I have. He's been the only friend I've had for so long, even if he's not my friend anymore more days than not. And it's obvious he isn't intentionally harmful most of the time; he really does seem overwhelmingly upset when he thinks about how hurtful he's been, but he still doesn't change. I wish this was easier. Thank you for the support, it means a lot and makes me feel like I'm not being unreasonable, because I always worry I am :( Sorry if this is all jumbled, today's been hard and I'm exhausted
it really does sound like a true support system is whats preventing you from leaving
learning to heal and love yourself requires pain, with or without people in your life. it sucks i know cos ive been thru it too, but i still found a way to cope and heal in the aftermath. my ex cheated on me so i was kind of thrown into single life with no friends and it hurt, but i wish i was much stronger to just live with myself and not spend so much time wondering what i could have done differently to make him love me more and for us to argue less.
i think all it takes is just one deep breath and a text message that you send with your eyes closed. then afterwards you can grieve and grow and then put yourself out there for better or worse friendships
youre not being unreasonable at all :) i get it cos i was that person who was scared of leaving the only person i had, and it defo takes time no matter who you are <3 no one will be mad at you for your choices, theyre yours:)
if you give him a chance and he does truly improve then thats an absolute win and you broke thru odds! i hope you do either grow with him or find people who make you feel welcome and supported enough that cutting ties for the betterment of your mental health is an option you can choose :D
I may have liked this without reading it all the way through and to that I am so sorry- genuinely though this is straight up abuse. Period. Don’t bother sparing his feelings. He’s ignored yours for at least the past year by the sound of it. And although it may seem hard to let go of what’s familiar but I can assure you you’d be much better off alone than with this guy.
If you do cut ties with him your brain will probably try to trick you into thinking it wasn’t that bad. That’s because love in general is addiction to the brain. Just mentioning this so you’re aware of it
Over all I’d highly recommend AT LEAST asking for a break, and also doing research on these behaviors and manipulation in relationships in general.