Screaming into the void on green website so I don't do anything stupid but also because I don't wanna talk to any of my friends because I don't want to worry them

One of my friends texted me randomly checking in and I texted back some shit about we ball haha I'm ok and then proceeded to sob over my phone for like 5 minutes after that was fun This is a whole lot of nothing I probably won't kill myself tonight I'll probably wake up tomorrow and do the exact same shit as every other day ts fine

I'll delete this post after I just need to rant at nothing lowk I'm so tired but I'm also way to hyped up to sleep rn I have the I'm gonna throw up anxiety and also am just very very whatever the word for feeling stupid and rushing into decisions is I dunno I'd remember uhh if I felt more ok probably I'm a decent writer usually

It's 2am if I'm not gonna cut myself I should make food or something I should make a hot chocolate n sit on the floor for a bit

I lowkey crave human connection and there are people right there willing to give me it but I'm so scared of ****ing up that I self isolate until I do shit like this every month or so we good though cuz I'm not dead yet

Hot chocolate banging