Ladles and jellyspoons, I come before you To stand behind you And tell you something I know nothing about. Next Friday, The day before Thursday, There’ll be a ladies' meeting For men only. Wear your best clothes, If you haven't any, And if you can come, Please stay home. Admission is free, You can pay at the door. We'll give you a seat, So you can sit on the floor. It makes no difference Where you sit; The man in the gallery Is sure to spit.