WHY i am still here
by:
MaxiTheNerd 
885
885
12.03.2026
13 comments
MaxiTheNerd[OP]
12.03.2026 01:46
Linkhey guys i probably look like a psych ward patient from what im about to say but i believe it fully! i wouldnt read this if youre really depressed because this is a super negative post (at least most people would think so) but i sort of just have no feelings towards it. suicide and stuff mentioned BTW
life is not worth living, not for me. my first attempt was a long while ago and i failed obviously. everyone is so caught up on trying to fix me and help me but i don't need it at all. all i need is to leave this earth. and woah! that probably sounds super bad! but honestly i dont understand. i dont see why it is bad that i dont want to live anymore. the only reason im still here is because of the people who care about me which i also don't understand because i have tried many times to push everyone away and make others hate me so i can be alone and be able to die in peace. i want to say im grateful for my friends, and i truly am, it makes my shitty life fun sometimes, but its just not worth it. let me explain
MaxiTheNerd[OP]
12.03.2026 01:51
Linkjust being alive costs money. that money goes to corrupt and horrible people. they stay in power because we are alive. sure, theres been revolutions, but think, really, how many people had to die for it? and where are we today? it is all the same. history literally repeats itself. there is no possible way for this world to function with us humans in it. its never going to get better because no matter hard we try, we will be silence, killed, and not taken seriously. why would i want to live in a world where nothing will ever get better? i dont! and i would be gone by now but there are still people who care about me and i dont want to put that burden on them. yes, i am mentally ill, i know i am, but i firmly believe what im saying right now. i know the comments under this post are going to be filled with jokes and saying that i am "edgy" or something, but i dont really care. its strange that nobody else thinks the same way i do. this is not encouraging suicide,
MaxiTheNerd[OP]
12.03.2026 01:56
Linki just think that personally, there is no way for me to make a difference in this world. ive felt this way for a long time but i didnt tell anyone because i thought maybe things would get better like everyone said but they havent. so i wanted to share my opinion with all of you. i dont know when or if i will attempt again, but it might happen, and i dont want people to feel upset about it. im okay the way i am and i really dont mind at all. i hope other people have a more positive outlook than me, because everyone is much stronger than i am, and this is a personal belief. i hope everyone has good lives and makes it far in them. this just my opinion on myself and i dont encourage anyone to start putting themself in the same mindset i am in. the whole reason i posted this is because i feel like ive been lying my whole life, but really i dont feel anything at the end of the day, so i dont really care too much. i dont mind being this way.
MaxiTheNerd[OP]
12.03.2026 01:58
Linkmaybe it would be nice to understand and feel a will to live. i tried a lot of times to be able to feel that way but it never worked. i hope this post doesn't upset anyone because its my true feelings on the matter. again, i am not encouraging suicide or this kind of mindset. this is just how i feel about myself and i wanted to talk about it because ive never told anyone before. thank you for reading and have a good day, take care ^^
MaxiTheNerd[OP]
12.03.2026 02:03
Linkif anyone wants to talk about this i find the subject interesting, and maybe that sounds really dumb and edgy, but its true, i think existence and the morality of it is very interesting to think and talk about it. id like to hear other perspectives too because i could try to maybe understand a little why people like to be alive and think it is worth it to be here. i am doing well and this post is not a cry for help but rather an opinion on myself.
MaxiTheNerd[OP]
12.03.2026 02:05
Linkill probably delete this later but maybe I'll keep it up and use this account to document my opinions on things like this because i think it is interesting to keep track of and i know my memory is very bad
Now this is not a great way to live, but I typically like my life because I don’t really take in alot of information about the whole news of the world. I kinda live by a whole ignorance is bliss standing and I generally don’t pay much attention to the huge things going on in the world. I’m aware of a lot of things going on but I simply just don’t take that stuff into account in my every day life. I generally love living cuz of my friends and my hobbies, even if there is a lot of things going on in the world I just never like to think about negative stuff like that. Now thays not saying there’s things beyond ignoring, and I have family struggling with certain things going on due to the current state of how things are going but like I said I try to not focus on negatives of life. I try to stay positive, and even if it’s not for myself it’s for the people around me until I kinda just manage to forget the problems. It isn’t a great way to live but it keeps me relatively happy. Sorry if this doesn’t make any sense
If I had to kinda sum up why I believe life is worth living I think it’s mainly beyond looking at some kind of greater meaning. Not everything needs to make a difference, and life in my opinion is about looking past hardships and living in your own way that makes you happy. Even if that way you live us evil, terribke, good, life is about how you live it. It’s not other people’s lives, your life is your own, so you typically shouldn’t worry about matters beyond your control. But that’s my take even if it’s buns
Basically life is worth living because it’s something you never get back. So might as well make the most of what you can get yk
I don't know how anyone can have a will to live when the world we live in runs off of corruption and those in power would absolutely make our lives utterly horrible if it meant their benefit and their security of not getting hunted down by a rebellion
My depression makes me unable to do anything at all during the day and everyone stays away from me because they think I'm a depressed freak who cant look after themself. I don't know why I should assume things will get better when every suggestion I've ever taken from people has done nothing for me, when the things that would make anyone happy and most people would die to experience mean nothing and make me feel nothing, when I'm so utterly hopeless that I can't even muster the energy to entertain myself yet alone do anything productive or good for myself. Wouldn't you want another answer if you were in my shoes? People who don't experience anything like this will never truly understand and think I and you are selfish when it really just gets whittled down to our only option.
We are all insignificant and its unrealistic for us to do anything impactful enough to be remembered by anyone who isn't extremely close after death. As nice as hope is for things to get better and to value life because it is a one time thing it proves time and time again that it is cruel and shouldn't be celebrated but rather put up with because we are forced into it