Dear dad, Soon it'll be time again. You have been gone for almost five years now. I wonder every night what could I have done to stop you from committing suicide. I saw your body being hauled out by the EMT''s. That then and there I knew you weren't coming back. I am sorry I couldn't save you. I'm sorry I couldn't help you lift or carry this burden. I am hurting,I am angry, I am sad. What you did really messed me up. Every time I see pictures of you I feel sad and I feel like it's my fault. I feel guilt for all the things done and said. I never even got a proper goodbye. Every damn day I am missing you as the hole in my heart feels empty..hollow like a shell. I try to be strong for everyone. I don't want them to see how hurt I really am. You were my best friend that I've ever had. You were my world. You were also one of the coolest dads ever. I remember that one winter when you hooked the sled up to the golfcart and went as fast as you could in the snow just to make me laugh, to make me smile. To have fun. I