what i meant was "i like the idea of people suffering, especially when it's my fault" and "i like the idea of me suffering" i dont know why. obviously, i don't like seeing people actually suffer irl unless it's someone i don't like, or seeing myself suffer, just the idea of it. and sometimes i do things (though sort of minor) that make others suffer. (like not opening the door for people when we're walking back to lunch so they get locked outside) it scares me a lot. i don't want to be a bad person, or at least be seen as some sort of sadist by others. i just want these thoughts and feelings to go away so i can stop being so scared of myself and what i might do, since i know how impulsive i am. also, summertheskeleton, actually **** off. like, next level, go dig yourself a ditch and crawl inside it and never come out. in your seven words, you assumed that everyone, no matter how innocent, kind and caring they are, deal with shit like this. that would include my friends and girlfriend, and god for