-help. So much for trying to vent rant.

fault. I'm the one who somehow always finds the worst people to be friend with irl. Yes, i have really good friends! I have a few that are amazing! But what if they aren't? What if they're fake too? Am I reading the signals wrong? What if they dont want to be my friend, and are only pretending cause they feel bad? I wouldn't be surprised at all. ****! I can't even help the friends i have now! I couldn't save my old friends, and I can't even begin to help what few I have now. I am a failure. I am a failure at friendship. I am a failure at education. I am a failure at being social. at being a daughter. at being a sister. at being an artist, or being a friend, or being human. Its ****ing stupid that I make them put up with me. but then I'm scared to leave. What if they are true friends? I dont want them to have to deal with feeling like i just dropped them as a friend. its a horrible feeling. and if they are true friends, i dont want to drop them in the first place. **** this shit doesnt

"you don't deserve to cry" "I never liked you, to be honest" "lol! You thought we were best friends 🤪" "This is your fault" "why can't you be normal?' "what is wrong with you?" "why can't you understand?" I don't ****ing KNOW why I can't understand. Maybe cause I'm not ****ing PERFECT like your shitty princess self. Maybe I should be asking you why you don't understand that I am NOT YOU. I DO NOT ****ING THINK LIKE YOU. I DONT HAVE THE SAME MEMORIES AS YOU. THE SAME THOUGHT PROCESS. I'M SORRY THAT I WAS BORN WITH SHIT YOU'LL NEVER HAVE OR UNDERSTAND. ****ing idiots. all of them. the ****ing shit head that's been going behind my back and spreading rumors. The one lying straight to my face. The one screaming at me weekly. The one who ****ing punched me in the face and stated I 'walked into it' despite me being against a wall. The ones making fun of me behind my back with hushed whispers they think I can't hear. The ones who were fake. all of them. and the sad thing is? It is my

he went and ordered whatever, sitting on the couch and changing the movie

"What?" he asked ---- he laughs, giving him a soft kiss on the lips ---- He ut his hands back out to him, "I'll help,"