Give yourself a few weeks to calm down and process what happened. Not to sound like an asshole but just because they took their own life doesn't mean you have to as well. If you end up killing yourself you'll make other people who care about you feel the same way. It'll just repeat the cycle of over and over and over and over. Please don't feel embarrassed to reach out for help. Go talk to an adult or someone else about it. If you're not feeling it, you don't have to rush things so take it at your own pace. What happened is ****ed up. But if you plan on offing yourself, go get help.
