if i ever get the chance i think it would be nice to talk with him again. even if we dont really reestablish connection in any way, because im sure were far different and have likely grown apart from each other, it would atill be nice to catch up in a way

deadass he probably isnt even aware that i still think about him

maybe regretful. and nostalgiac

i feel like though, i would probably have a hard time talking to him after such a long time without speaking. like i can easily hold polite conversation with someone, but at somepoint it becomes a bit awkward after you run out of the basic conversation material and then i just dont know what to do. this is another one of those times where i kinda wish i just never cut the person off because my anxiety just kinda led me to doing anything to try and escape the feeling of whatever it was that was making me anxious and it makes me so . not js sad but like . it makes me feel down in a specofic way i cant pinpoint

maybe ill summon him somehow by talking so mucb i dunno