Honestly wish I would just tell someone or one of my family members this so they at least know. Or maybe care. But when I get sad or in trouble I cry and look away from everyone. And when that happens I'm mostlikly angry at my self and telling my self over and over again how useless I am and how I could have been a better person but for some reason I was chosen to be here. Honestly deserve it all though. I hate being alone but I don't deserve to have anyone care, I hate being called names or just ignored but I don't deserve any thing. Some times I look at what I got for Christmas and just want to give it all away. There's so many better people who deserves stuff like this, and a shitty 14 yo doesn't deserve. And I honestly laughed when I realized this one. I'm always thinking of killing my self but won't do it only because I worry how it would be like for the people I suround my self in. But honestly I sometimes just want to be selfish and suck it up, to just do something more then biting and pinching.