I cant help others and I cant help myself because no matter what I do I always get down to the bottom

literally just recently I found a way to control my style, and i was getting used to it but for some reason now i just keep messing up and going all over the place and i dont know how to fix it anymore, probably why I shouldnt have started drawing in the first place

if I knew these kind of things would happen I wouldnt be in this situation I just wish I figured myself out like everyone else but I didnt I still didnt and I feel like I never will I feel so confused I've experimented but by bit everyday, and I find different styles and I use them and throw them away after same with even combining them and just rhowing it away again never to be used I dont know why I have to be so inconsistent and stupid and dumb about all this

I wanna get a style that I would like and would represent me but it just turns out I'm probably nobody at all at this point

no style, no nothing

jsut kill me already, I have no purpose