Can I critique this a little bit?

ok i uh get ready for me to be brutally blunt Unless it's your style (which it probably is), try not to use those short lines to try and draw curves. It's known as "chicken scratches", and if you wanna become a better artist, you're gonna have to change. Another nit pick is the shading. I can tell you've shaded just a little bit, with black (or a darker colour of the main colours). NEVER USE BLACK OR A DARKER COLOUR OF THE ORIGINAL COLOUR TO SHADE. I REPEAT, NEVER, AND I MEAN NEVER, USE BLACK OR A DARKER COLOUR OF THE BASE COLOUR(S) TO SHADE. I often times use pink, red, a deep blue or yellow to shade. Try changing the opacity or tool to get the look you're looking for. Also, about the little bit of shading, I often times shade just to one side (so the light is coming from the right or left). Example A - https://ibb.co/N7GZHB3, Example B - https://ibb.co/dBXSRFv. Notice how the shading/lighting is only off to one side? Yeah that's basically what I do. I am trying to start shading in different ways,

though, and I highly recommend you try different shading styles too.

oh my gosh that took so long to write i am dead now

Np!