there goes all of my work. like anyone would have seen it anyways. i'm alone in rehearsal. my only friend sat at another table with her friends. the only person i know. the only person i can talk to for 2 hours. she's talking about me. she doesn't think i can hear her. i'm 80% sure it was shit-talk. i cant text my friends. i cant tell anyone. i just have to sit here in silence and pretend i'm not listening. i'm not very mad. not very sad. i'm not even that disappointed. just alone. i feel like i'm sitting in a void. no one by my side. i call out, because i know there's other people. but they never listen. they're too busy drowning in their darkness, too. i want to push on the barrier. i want to push it so hard it breaks. i want to see everyone. i want them to see me. i want them to stop pretending they aren't alone too, using meaningless insults to ward everyone else away because they're too scared to get close to another. it's so loud, but so quiet. it's devastating.