So...I told our closest people how we were dating, and they were happy! But, then once we went full public, a lot of people just...hated us. They were always wide eyed, mouth dropped, and NOT in a good way. They were saying really mean to stuff to us, and said how disgusting he was. It's probably because he makes sex jokes all the time. And...I lost my (friend-fake) mother. (Basically, we pretend I'm her child.) Me and her had a great relationship, but now that I told her...I just lost her...and she friends hated me too.

But- really- I don't expect any more from them. The whole school is slut filled. And if they aren't sluts...they're traitors. -cough- starwalker -cough- (pfft- I'm kidding SW! Sorry- it was perfect. Don't worry- your not actually involved...well- mostly. You took us pretty well and I'm thankful for it.) But- because of everything- I'm getting some serious anxiety. I've told BF this as well, and because of my anxiety we might break up...but I DONT WANNA!!! Which is the hard part!! EVERYTIME I look at myself! I don't see anyone beside me! EVERYTIME somebody gives me 'the look'- I just completely shut down-! And I'm scared of tell my family...because they might reject me. And don't start saying that they won't. They're not your average family. They. Won't. Accept me. Marcus is the only one I have right now. The friends I have, are either not listening to me because of their 'love life'- or I'm making deals, in order for me to leave them alone. That last one- I actually made a deal last week. And now I cant

Hang with her all to much. I can just go and say hi, but unless we're forced, or it's part of the deal, I don't get to see her. I know I'm mental, I know I'm insane, but seriously!? I thought people actually liked me! And it makes me wonder if Marcus is just using me-! Maybe he wanted everyone to hate me... SEE!? THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!! FULL ON ****ING ANXIETY!!! I don't want to break up with him-! But if this keeps hurting me, I just can't. I'm done. Thanks for listening, it means a lot. -XOXO Ari❤️