You know, I have felt the same way. I also am struggling with all of these emotions and with Gender Dysphoria on top of that. It can be very deppressing and you may feel very anxious and anger. My family is very christian and sometimes they can be a bit insensitive. I have very strong distance towards them now a days. I spend as much time in my room as possible or I am drawing. Though I am struggling, I know somehow I will make it through it. You can too. You are a strong person. Even if you may not see that now, someday you will be able to be the TRUE you. Keep that in mind every day and work towards it. You CAN do this. YOU got this!!!