since i couldnt fit a "whats in my bag" heres an inventory of my school backpack + what i keep in my pockets pockets bc im a moid in training - spider lighter - pocket knife - earbuds - mp3 player backpack - off deep woods (yes, everywhere) - pepper spray intended for bears (yes, everywhere) - tim allen (again) - random seeds i collected 2 months ago (late thoroughwort, lobelia inflata, wingstem, spanish needles, solidago pinetorum) - butterfly spool with yarn - business card holder with sticky notes - spoon - flash drive (contains many pictures of patrick bateman and a lot of studies about american chestnut do u wanna hear about american chestnut)

kind of hard to understate how much ive changed since march of last year. lol. went from being a complete shut in neet with no prospects to 3.9 (sad! many such cases) student whos probably going to transfer to the top plant college in the region, plus job and car and silly bumper stickers for said car. also oh man i have extremist opinions on topics you dont even know about. went from being sad and pathetic and aimless to being... ok, not excited to get out of bed, but at least i have a reason to, and i know what i want to do for the rest of my life and im excited to get there. not everyone can say that :)

i dont know what this is supposed to get out of me like A Rise. are u looking for an argument. probably just a response and therefore attention which means im encouraging u but i genuinely dont give a shit what some random 13 year old thinks about me? ur an Internet (big i) nobody and so am i and nothing will come of this interaction. i was invested in this shit when it was my whole world and i was stuck at home but im not anymore and people say words at me on the internet then i go to work and no one cares about my no step sticker and the vet tech calls things retarded sometimes and overall everything is very human and real and not pixels on the screen and ive realized that thats what matters. its not the pixels and i used to be so goddamn obsessed with the funny little guys in the computer but. i dunno. it doesnt actually matter. it doesnt do anything. i shitpost for my own enjoyment because i have a life now, i hear theyre only 20 bucks at walmart

the beauty of real life is how not curated it is. sometimes things suck. one of the cats at work had to be put down today because he was dying of kidney failure and his quality of life was declining and it was time. sometimes people mess up or say the wrong thing or forget something or do something rude and no one really minds because its real life and youre not expected to curate your existence for strangers. youre free to exist however you want. i can go to walmart in a full suit to buy baby snacks and chex and it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks of me because its in their own head and ill never see them again anyways so what does it matter if they dont like me. i can look a little weird and act a little weird and no one cares because thats real life. online is such a narrow box that you need to force yourself into to be acceptable and im not about that life becuase the irl model of "not giving a shit" is way better

ok. back to drawing white jon

"tim did you write 2 paragraphs at some random because you wanted to be sad about the cat having to be put down" Perhaps.

half finished utopia embroidery <3

i was flickign it in math class and my math teacher was like "wow havent seen one of those in a while" and i was like "my friend sent it to me :DDDD look spider :DDDDD i have no clue how she got it through the mail :DDDDDDD"