so i talked to the psychologist, let's call her Laura. i have a few mental problems (not diagnosed yet) and i talked to Laura about family problems, mental state, etc. and we got to the point where she asked: "have you had thought of harming yourself or others around you?" i blabbered, since i didn't really wanna talk about that. "aeuh- d-guh- i- yeah? i did self-harm once (it was more than once.) and my friend noticed and asked me about it" -"do you want me to tell anyone about this? *writes stuff down*" -"i'd rather not, honestly."

after telling Laura about how i have intrusive thoughts, she asked if i have thought about harming other people, strangers or not, so i replied that i do but i don't actually do this because of OBVIOUS REASONS- lets go back to that one part. "do you want me to tell anyone about this?" -"no" after my grandma entered the room, i was looking around at some toys, orbeez, some little umbrellas, it was cute without me seeing, she was signing to me grandma ABOUT ME TRYING KILL MYSELF, THAT I'M CRAZY AND THAT I SELF HARM THIS IS WHY T R U S T I S S U E S

and then my grandma got super mad at me for doing this shit to myself. because imagine having a niece with mental issues EWWWWW GROSS she didnt kill herself yet so she MUST be mentally stable!!!1!!1!!11!!1

i was very open about everything lmao it doesnt bother me so much honestly