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I guess venting :/
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08.01.2018
12 comments
08.01.2018 23:23
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I don’t expect anyone to read all of this xD I just need to say itttttt :///
08.01.2018 23:23
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Soooo I just had an very awkward car ride with my stepmom.. and I could already feel anxiety just creeping in and that just made it go through the roof xD (I hate saying anxiety and anxious.. but it’s the quickest way to say it :/ and yess, I’m not self diagnosed and I’m actually diagnosed.. but whateverrr) so I’m just going to say stuff that’s been on my mind since I’m already kinda freaked out :/ so.. awhile ago when I used to talk to this guy uh.. I remember he used to have to tell me a lot that it’s okay to text him first and tell him when I wanna talk since he’ll always want to talk me.. and it took a longgg time until I finally started doing it and (kinda) being comfortable.. and it’s just so stupid.. like.. first, why would he take the time to do that?? And second, it’s stupid that he had to do that anyways.. he said it was fine but still.. it’s like.. my stupid brain just decides anyone who actually cares or wants to talk, automatically hates me or something and I just don’t g
08.01.2018 23:24
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Get it* There’s more..
08.01.2018 23:24
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Why do I think like that?? It makes no sense but I do and I can’t help it.. maybe it’s not that I think they hate me.. more of I’m just wasting their time.. but it sucks.. like if it took him that long for me to just be the one to say hey first.. then I’m never going to be close to anyone :/ like I’m just an awkward mess xD Also, when I’m not anxious, I’ll talk and not just be quiet but then later I’ll just freak out that I might have said something wrong and now everyone hates me.. or they already do.. idk and you know.. I have never called someone a friend out loud.. ever because I’m scared that they didnt want to be my friend :/ but it’s stupid because those people would (saying would since i don’t talk to them anymore since I moved) they would call me friend all the time.. so.. idkk also I have a habit of saying idk way too much.. I say it all the time, it used to be a lot worse though.. also back the guy.. I really miss him.. like.. I just.. idk I just wish he was here sometimes..(
08.01.2018 23:25
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There’s even moreeeee :0
08.01.2018 23:25
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so I could talk to him.. and just.. idk but whatever.. now on to my stepmom..... she’s.. just.. terrible.. I guess.. like she.. she has called me some names.. like.. delusional.. and mental.. and obsessed.. I’m not going to say all examples but I’ll say one.. I had these bugs laying eggs in my bed and biting me when I sleep.. so I looked online what they were and how to get rid of them and I heard her say to my dad “she’s so obsessed with those bugs, it’s not normal” and.. yeah.. I just wanted them out of my bed so they would stop biting me.. and they didn’t believe me.. I showed them the bugs that died.. and they still didn’t believe me.. but yeah.. uhhhhhhh that was awhile ago.. and there’s alotttt more that I haven’t said.. and instead of making a ton of posts I’ll put them here.. since I just.. idk yeah :/
08.01.2018 23:48
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I wanna tell another story ;-; So.. I remember being so happy with my mom.. like I actually wanted to get up in the morning and go to school.. and I remember staying up on my phone xD Or also going into the kitchen and getting something to eat when I’m hungry (Can’t do that at my dads, that’s where I am now ;-;) and also when I wanted to go outside.. I simpley just went outside... I miss that so much.. now I feel trapped in my own room.. and I can’t even close my bedroom door (they won’t let me) so they are always watching me.. and.. that’s not all of it there’s a lot worse stuff I didn’t say but.. I’m just tired of them.. my dad still treats me like I’m 5 like heal say “you hungy, hungy?” And nods his head while saying it (he says hungy instead of hungry -_- ) And.. I feel like I’m getting younger, like.. I’m going to explain the way my mom explained it.. since so much has happened and they just have pushed me to the edge, I'm acting in emotional ways I normally wouldn’t.. an
08.01.2018 23:48
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And I hate it** But yeah ;-;
09.01.2018 00:12
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Woah, damn... I'll legit always be here if you need me, I know it's hard, especially where you're at now And I'm not gonna spread that bull of "It'll be okay" Because of how clichè it fuckin' is, and how many times you'll hear it. But for real, hmu anytime, I swear to you, you would definitely not be bother me in anyway
09.01.2018 06:21
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Uhhh well.. I’m not good about coming to people.. but I am just going to put some stories here.. but like.. I just.. I’m not.. going to ask to talk or anything.. not because I don’t want to.. just like.. idk xD that probably sounds confusing, sorry Also I saw this earlier but was too scared to reply ;-; so there’s a chance you might not even see this xD
10.01.2018 00:14
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I LOVE BLUE btw sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry
10.01.2018 01:29
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Never EVER be sorry for liking blue. Blue is the most amazing color and it’s my god. (Lmao jk xD)
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