Recently I've been thinking. With so much of my time taken up by my highschool and college classes, I haven't been able to play games or read or do anything that would take longer than a few minutes or less. Instead, in my freetime throughout the day, I've been thinking about.. stuff. Schools killed the creative story-centered thoughts I usually have, and what I'm left with sounds like the rambling you find on r/im14andthisisdeep or something haha.

I've been thinking about life, mostly. If there's a god, if there's not a god. If there isn't a god, then where does the universe come from? My current theory is that it doesn't come from anywhere, It's just always been around, but as an agnostic I'm not really bound to any one idea. I've put a lot of thinking into life as a whole.

For example, do aliens exist? If they do, are they like us? Are they green and odd like they're portrayed, or do they look like us and the green look is actually their space suit? Are we the only intelligent life in the whole galaxy, or are there other versions of us out there? If there is, I wonder how it would go, and if we would start a war or try and seek being allies.

..The developement of language and trying to learn new ones is very cool. Some languages use entirely different alphabets, and we still learn them!

..If evolution really is true, then that's widely fascinating. Imagine cells evolving over a long time into new species that then continue to evolve more. I've been wondering where life comes from, and how humans managed to get so different from other species. What gives us the ability to think so complexly? Were we always this way, or was it just made over time? Is it a gift from some higher entity? Is it connected to our ability to grasp objects outside of our mouth and walk on our back legs, which is why many creatures who can do this also tend to be smarter than others? Do these physical traits open doors for more complex problem solving, and over time, higher thinking?

..And then I get to people as a whole- we're so complex, we've created societies and relationships you would never quite find in the animal kingdom. We have creativity, complex emotions, innovation, the ability to create artificial intelligence.. the list goes on. A lot of things we do are bad, but a lot of things we do are good too. I personally believe that the world mostly runs on Love, Lust, and Greed. The first ones usually good oriented, the second ones neutral, the thirds bad, but life and humans are so complex that they all have their own reasonings and impacts that don't always fall into that category. And there doesn't need to be categories! That's just something we made up, to try and make things easier to understand. That's the thing about us, we don't just accept things how they are, we have to try and make sense of everything- and that's incredible.

Lifes incredible. It's just so.. interesting. No matter how bad or down I might get about it and what humans have done sometimes, I want to keep going. Its like a book I just can't put down, because there's always something new to learn with each paragraph. New information is always exciting, and I find the small conversations people have to be mildly interesting- there's just something so cool about everyone having their own life with their own experiences and feelings and take on everything. No matter the good or bad that comes with it, life is interesting. Its so strange and complex that it feels like a distant memory while its happening. Like the stories your brain conjures up during slumber. And yet, you're completely awake. Why would you want to forever sleep, when there's so much to dream about?