in two days I'll be in Texas, I'll be on the plane at 5 am and I'll be with my alcoholic PTSD ridden father and his shit family. I'm so scared. of him. of his/my family. of planes. I haven't even began to back because I don't want to accept the fact that I'm going again .I'm going for a month and these stupid laws make me go every year. again. and again. until I'm 18. even then, I'll still have to go until I'm 20 because my mother doesn't want my sister, who is 2 years younger than me, going alone. they scare me so badly, oh my god. I don't want to cry myself to sleep for a month again. I don't want to be not allowed to have contact with my mother for a month again. I don't want to be locked in a room again, waiting until everyone was sober enough to come out. he doesn't even have his own house, ****. god. I don't want this. I don't want to go back. he always smells of alcohol. alcohol on his breath. on his clothes. ignoring me all the time. he said he didn't care if he saw me or not anyway. oh my god. help m

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